Her stomach fell again as she
rolled, keeping her gun fingerpointing at her opponents heart, and shot her
.357 Smith-and-Wesson. The man was pointing a .22 automatic at her head. A
quick, gentle breeze brushed her sweat-wet cheek where his bullet passed. He
fell, quite suddenly and finally. She leaped over to him across the cheep
carpet, took his gun and cuffed him. Her breath came quick and fast with
anticipation. The living room was getting hot and sticky as the Georgia
afternoon reluctantly gave way to a soft humid evening. Her sweat was sharp and
strong with adrenalin. It stung her eyes, making the couch's faded flower
design, seem to melt
.
Moving quickly into the
kitchen, she glimpsed the open window curtains, above the steel sink, flutter
and die. She was the utility-white kitchen and at the entry, when his six foot
silouette opened the front door. She hugged the door's wall and grabbed his gun
hand, twisting the gun out of it. He struck her jaw with his other-hand,
spinning sparks before her eyes. She hung onto his gun hand and knuckle pressed
him with her as she fell.~ The sparks faded as she twisted his arm behind his
back and tied them with her shoe laces .
"Jesus, she‘s quick,
" stated Agent Sims in the video room.
"And strong, agressive.
She might do. " said Commander Hardluv, almost noncommitally. Sims and
Hardluv watched the conclusion of the raid, making notes on the trainees. As
the last of the “suspects" were loaded in the van, Sims called over the
radio to the raid coordinator.
"Wilson, have Wade come
to the video room a moment"
"Do I havae time for a
shower first?" interjected Jesse Wade.
"Sure but make it
quick" Said Wilson.
"I'm always quick"
smirked Jesse - almost knowingly.
Sims twirled his pencil with
his tounge nervously.
"Is he impressed or what?"
thought Sims.
Mr. Hardluv had the classic
poker-face. No one could tell what he might be thinking. Even the cool, dark
video room couldn't keep Sims from breaking into a nervous sweat, trying to
imitate Hardluv.
"You say she was sent
here from the Forest Service? What's she going to do for them, catch firebugs,
timber thieves? Malicious picnickers?
What a waste of talent. This school is wasted on them. I hate giving them
spaces for Special Agent training. Hell, they won‘ t even issue bullets to go
with their guns.~ I guess they use them as clubs or hope to frighten people
into arrests," stated Hardluv.
"He' s interested,
" thought Sims .
"Well, was I right? She
can do it all. And she has a tape recorder memory. She remembers everything,
verbatum, like a tape reoorder. "
"So you've told me,
Sims. But this is training, a game to her perhaps. What will happen when those
are real bullets coming at her and not just actors she has to handle?"
mussed Hardluv.
"How do we know how any
of them will react?" countered Sims.
"You're right. Let's
see-what kind of patriot she is."
That was Hardluv's way of
saying he wanted to recruit.
He was quite the agent
himself in his day. Now his athletic body was getting a bit worn around the 5'8"
edges. The sable hair was a bit thinner and greyer too but his brown eyes still
sparkled energetic intllect. Fifteen years ago his ‘average appearance allowed
him to blend in anywhere. He was the type of person witnesses would describe as
"about 5'8" or 5'11", brown hair and average build."
If asked for any distinguishing
marks, their reply would be a thoughtfull "...no..." Descriptions
would vary of his facial features from "a straight nose" to a
"clift chin", or simply "you know .. . just average."
However, he had a photographic
memory and he kept his "average" body well above average in strangth
and quickness. He could squeeze information out of a turnip, it was said, and
charm the fangs from a serpent.
"I' m very flattered . .
." started Jesse.
"But you won’ t join us.
That‘ s what all females say when they‘ re about to say ' no‘ " , huffed
Sims.
Jesse felt uneasy as their
faces were illuminated only by the dozen tiny television screens, casting a
menacing light in their eyes. She summoned her courage and told them.
"You're right. I won't join
your organization. I like what I'm doing. I don't have to be a CIA agent to
serve my needy country. Besides, I'm not a kid. My life is already established.
If I weren't married, it would be very tempting. But I am, so I won't. Thanks
anyway."
She started to tremple with
adrenalin. Why did she feel as if she were in battle? She sensed something a’brewing
as if this weren't the end of the matter.
Hardluv was silent, laid back
in the cushioned chair, looking at his touching fingertips. Sims sat forward,
contemplating his knees and twitching his right foot uncomfortably.
"Well, I guess you'll be
having kids in a few years and all this training will be wasted. Women are only
good for a few years in this work. They all get married and have kids. You're
no different," shot Hardluv.
"I didn't get my
Criminology doctorate to sit at home and diaper runny-nosed kids. I'm in this
business to stay. I can't have children anyway, so don‘t worry about wasting
anything on me,” she said a.bit regretfully.
"O.K Go ahead. Go back
to your trees. You'd probably choke on a real assignment anyway. This training
is just a game to you. You couldn't handle the pressure of having real bullets
fired at you. Your country's security would mean nothing to you under live
fire. Go back to your safe, boring life. Leave the important work to the people
who can handle it,‘ stabbed Hardluv.
"Where did you find this
guy, Sims‘? No. you can't play your mind games with me. I know what you're
trying to do. You know I can't resist a challenge. I don't have to prove
anything to you, though I could if I wanted to. I can do anything I put my mind
to... Anything... I just don't want to join the CIA .. . Can I go now?"
"...Sure. See you at
dinner," said Sims rather cooly. He followed Jesse out the door and caught
her arm.
"Don't take Hardluv too
seriously. He wouldn't give you such a hard time if he didn't think you were
worth it."
"Thanks. Maybe someday.
It's just that there are other things more importyant to me now. See ya."
"I am having a good
time" mused Jesse. I'm finally able to do the things I've heard agents
talk about. God, it feels so real durring the exercises. I can't wait for the
real thing."
Jesse glanced at the clock
above the dorm desk. She just had time to read her mail and finally take that
"quick" shower before dinner.
There was a letter from Cliff
and a care package from Mom.
Sweetheart,
Spring
breathes fresh her promises,
As
light blows in to stay the darkness,
Stellar's
Jays, their squaks grating,
Push
away the Winter‘ s sleep,
Impatient
for their Summer's dellight.
The
days move slowly, in a dream,
Wanting
to wake to your warm light,
My
lone winter soul lives for life,
In
you, my life's delight.
I
know; it's baaaaad! as usual, but it's the best I could do while watching
"Leave it to Beaver" reruns.
I
can't wait for you to come home. We'll make quite the team again. Things are
hopping! You'll have plenty to do when you come back to work. We'll put those new skills through the paces! I know
you hate it when I won't give you all the details but you'll just be that much
more anxious to come home, Besides, I don't want to chance anyone intercepting
this and spoiling some of our fun.
My
dearest, loving, wife. I can't tell you what an empty place there has been for
me these past eight weeks. No bacon cooking to wake to, no warm flesh to steal
bedcovers from me, no one to hear of my fantastic run in the Master‘ s race
(first, a full 2 seconds ahead of second! )
Your
impatient, loving, lousy poet but fantastic racer husband,
"He is a lousy poet but
I'm a sucker for mush, however it comes," thought Jesse. "What was
hopping? If it was personnel, they would get someone from another Forest to
investigate. I wonder if it's a plantation raid‘? Cliff usually refers to raids
as ‘fun’ ...He's right. Now I am real anxious to get home.
She could feel April coming
as their Subaru sedan leisurly sauntered up meandering, serpentine roasds. It was all it could do to “saunter” but it
got them where they wanted to go. the
foothills were turning a bright green-yellow as the new grass make the first
appearance of green this spring. The oaks
usually slept in a little longer, but already the buds were bumping out. Smoke from debris burning wafted in and out
of the car as people prepard for yet another fire season. She could sense Cliff’s excitement and,
although they bot got animated and excited this time of year, Cliff was even
more so. as they climbed past the
digger pines and came into the beginning of the cedar/oak transition int eth
mountains, Jesse could stand it no more.
Li
one'anoth_er“into two
stories.
It_was small, two upstairs
bedrooms, with a bath kitchen and living room downstairs. Jesse paused at the
front porch, savoring the fresh, crisp air, and the feeling of comfort as the
sun shone a final gold on the snow patched meadow.
by the waist as they entered.
She turned to him feeling an urgent need to have him close.
"Let me take a long hot
shower first. I want to just stand there and let warm water run over me until
it starts to turn cold," sighed Jesse.
"Alright, but I'll
probably be asleep by the time you get done."
"We'll see how long you
can sleep when I get under those covers," threatened Jesse.
a playful slap on the rear
which she returned with a fast sla of her foot on his butt. She tucked her rear
in and scampered quickly out of Igis reach, sticking her tounge out as she
disappeared into the shower.
What is going
She had to bend her knees to
get her 5'11" high head under the nozzle. The water ran a. warm. soothing
sheet over her lean, tired musscles and flattened the long summer-wheat hair
against her winter-white body.
She heard the shower door
slide open. The soap over her eyes kept her from opening them, but she had no
need. Cliff's firm, long hands caressed her stomach. He took the soap and
washed her slowly, savoring her lean, strong body. She rinsed the soap from her
eyes, turned to face him pressing her hips Mm-m+ mhe-ir mouths met with firm,
probing passion. He held her closer
love handles and ruffled his
thick, light mane. They paused, filling their eyes with each other. Jesse
stroked his long arms then sllipped beside him urgently seeking his closeness
and he, hers. They loved each other tenderly with fervent lunging and caressing.
They knew each other well, moving harmoniously instinctively. n His musk scent
filled her with pleasure and familiar longings as she savored their loving as
long as she could. The waves of passion faded slowly, pleasureable, as they
slipped into deep, satisfied
sleep.
“this unexpefited‘ cloud .
rustling the dry underbranches. Their muscles stiffened with the cold as time
crawled by. ,Cra.0k! feet
from their faces .
Jesse and Cliff flinched
closer to the ground as a ‘swig broke 5 The man's New Balance leather waffle
stompers almost
met their noses as he stepped
closer to the bush.
"Freeze! Federal
Officers!" wisper-shouted Cliff. He had jumped the gun and hoped he hadn't
spoiled the raid. He wanted to make this arrest as quickly and quietly as
possible.
The little man dropped his
spade and seedling bag, ddropped his precious plants.
Cliff coult tell the little
man was debating whether to flee or surrender . Jesse made the decision easy as
she silently came upon their prey from behind and cuffed him before he could
make a decisiion.
"I'll take him in and be
right back," said Jesse. Cliff nodded and walked to another position, to
await the raid signal. The fog drifted away to reveal the warm midmorning sun.
Jesse escorted the little man to a waiting van.
"Starting a bit early,
aren't you?" asked the ruddy, boy-cheeks deputy.
obviously upset he had
W 7 He was aready on his
back. sho she put her right hand under his neck lifted it, and
laced her left hand on his
forehead. She froze, wanting to start the reathing and compressions but knowing
they would be useless. Her left palm turned wet and sticky as a neat roun hole,
the size of a dime, oozed in the middle of Cliff's forehead. He had been shot
clean, and feel a
thing.
' Jesse started CPR anyway,
not believing what had happened . She had
cuffed and carried off to’
stop. She rode in the Forest Service sedan behind the coroner's van, quiet and
stunned. The cuffs had been removed and she vaguely heard her boss explaining
what she needed to do, what he could do to help, and how brave she must be. She
nodded, not wanting him to say anymore,. wishing she could forget what he was
telling her, and too drailned to make him stop.
The coronerI s room was an
old examination room on ‘the first floor of the Valley Medical Center . The
walls were an easy-wash white enamel as we r-e the drrawers and cabinets .
Crome touched everything with handles, rollers, tubes , and holders . The pad
Cliff laid on was blck vinyl on a chrome guerny. The
Finding none, she radieed for
help and started CPR.
coroner spoke into his right
breast shirt pocket, that held a small portable recorder.
"Caucasian, Male,
approximately 50 years of age . Name is Clifford Wade, Shaver Lake, California.
Cause of death . . . a bullet wound to the head . entered through the left
frontal lobe and moved superior to inferior at a 50 degree angle and exited
through the right inferior occipital lobe. The wound appears to have been made
by a 50 caliber bullet or similar."
Jesse sat with the hospital's
visiting chaplan, not saying a word. very young. Jesse thought he belonged in
high school. But then one always thinks that of when they are no longer the
chaplin's age. He was sitting stiffly, not knowing whether to talk, put his arm
around her, keep silent, or what. He was just a big corn field boy, with his
wheat field hair, pale yet
ruddgé face and p11% nose. He
looked as if he would rather be_working {she farm righ now. His 0 asped hands
were large and meaty, maklng look l1ke
anything but a preacher .
Jesse sensed his discomfort,
put a comforting hand on his shoulder and
_ade, of Bullet
He was
G
"It's 01:. There's
nothing anyone can do for me now. 'm not the religous type anyway.. . If it
would make you feel better; you can say a few words over him."
His eyes warmed, the hands
unfolded and his muscles eased their vigil under her touch.
"You sure?" He asked
in a farmer drawl. . "There's nothing I can do?" he asked almost
hopefully.
"I'm sure. Go on. "
1 1 . . . . .
relief.
"What happened? That
can't be Cliff in the next room. It's someone else.
Cliff is probabl home,
‘wondering where I am," thought Jesse.
She started for tfhe next
room but was intercepted by Fred Hendricks, her boss.
"Where you going?"
asked Hendricks as his chubby arm caught her.
"Ah .. . I have to make
a phone call." "There's a phone in this room you know." "So
ther is so there is ..."
"You're being very
brave, Jesse. lWe're very proud of you. Have you called your family yet?"
"No. That's what I was
going to do." "By the way, here are Cliff‘ s effects, things that
were in his pockets."
"Thanks." The
reality of it all was just beginning to penetrate her fogged, slow-motion.
There were a thousand things
she had to do. She just couldn't quite bring herself to do them. kEverything
seemed suddenly too much. Hendrick’ s ample frame had to guide her, physically,
through the motions. He brought her to thje phone, made her call her parents
and Cliff's, even told her what to say. She suddenly found herself having to be
guided by her blading, perpetualy
hot-faced boss. He was
unusually helpful. Could this be the same man who constantly questioned her
faacts, rediouled her reports, and generally made a royal pain of himself?
This was a side of him she
never saw and wasn't sure she wanted to. She kept expecting him to ask her where
she was when Cliff got shot, why she wasn't at her post, that he knew it was a
mistake to let them work together. She could sense it all pressing inside him.
His face looked hotter than usual and he was very abruptly, but efficiently
taking her through the motions.
She couldn't stand it
anymore. She had to see Cliff. He was the only person she could confinde in.
She desperately needed someone. She needed Cleff. She had no other close
friends. Her parents loved her but didn't really understand.
She looked in the bag
Hendricks had given her. Funny. She never knew he carried a clover leaf with
him. She wondered if it was the same one she gave him durring their first year
together. They had planted a small clover patch in front of their cabin, even
before it was finished being built. Cliff said clover patches were lucky
because, as a child, his mother told him leprecans
"Here's one. See
here's’an<_)ther."
Jesse kept rushing to his
side.
"Where? I don't see
any."
They kept up the game until
Jesse picked a three leaf clover and gave it to Cliff.
"We don't need
leprechans. We'll make our own luck."
"Right. It did us a lot
of good " thought Jesse.
Hendricks finally left. Jesse
took the moment to rush over to the coroner’ s room.
"Yes who do we have
here?" asked the coroner. It shocked Jesse. For some reason, she didn't
expect to find anyone else there. She couldn't move, say or think anything for
a moment.
"This your first time?
You'll get used to it. New homicide detectives get the shakes like everyone.
It's nothing to be ashamed of," said the coroner in a rather bored tone.
"I wanted to see the
body." Jesse had difficulty speaking. She was afraid she might be going
insane. '
"Well come over here and
take a look, them." he spoke irritably.
"Oh, Cliff " she
thought. "It really is you. How can it happen so quickly. Why‘? Why
you?"
"Listen. I thought you
wanted to know how the bullet entered . .." "Superiorly, through the
left frontal lobe, and moved superior to inferior at a 50 degree angle, exited
right inferior occipital lobe." Jesse recited, word for word, the last
words were difficult as she felt her throat constrict painfuly.
"The bullet was probably
a .50 caliber but you won't know that for sure until you find the bullet."
All she could do was nod. She
kept wishing he would leave. Why wouldn't he get the hell out? She was getting
very irritated. Jesse stayed as long as she dared, curious that she didn't feel
like crying. In fact, she was devoid of feeling, except her irritation at the
coroner.
Cliff didn't seem real. That
body on the table was just an apperition, a movie dummy“ There was no emotion
in his greyish face. She felt weak. It was almost too much for her to hold her
own body up. She managed to stumble out of the room in time to slump by the
wall.
The next few days spun her
into a foggy, irradio, mist. The funeral came and went almost as quickly as
Cliff. Everyone was so damn eager to put him, in the ground. Didn't they care?
Didn't they know what a perfect human being he was‘? Why did they get rid of him
so fast‘?
Jesse was so
"brave", an "inspiration". She took it "so well".
She was so "strong," .
"Damn them. thought
Jesse. Nobody let me cry when I wanted to. They w0uldn' t let me say goodbye .
Whenever I wanted to talk about him everyone said ' I known ' and left
uncomfortably, like they didn' t know what to do with me
when I showed any emotion. My
parents just told me to be brave. Cliff's parents wouldn't even talk to me. I'm
going to go nuts if I don't get away for a while.
Even Doug had the gull to show
up, as if he couldn't wait for Cliff to be gone. She had a brief passionate
fling in her second year of marriage. Doug, the newpaper editor took advantage
of her curiosity. She hadn't "known" a man except Cliff. She had been at the point in her life where
she was curious if other men were different. The passion was turning into tame
familiarity with she and Cliff. Jesse found herself wondering about the men she
saw. Did they all make love the same or were they really different?
She was drawn to Doug‘s slim
wiry body when she went to his office His reporters misquoted, miswrote, and
totally missed the point in every story they wrote about cases on her district.
She was constantly in Doug Obermyer's office for corrections. She found she was
going there more often on petty
polnts. he plCK€(1 up on ner
<1es_1res arm was more than nappy to oolge ner. ne wasn't much different
than Cliff. He was a bit clumsy but he went through the
{mere i I‘ b t a te a.cE>u
le of" a s"n" fai she f t uilt nd finally gave up. Every once in
a while, though, he would ask Jesse if she'd gotten rid of Cliff yet.
Then, there he was at the
funeral, not looking so unhappy. It was then Jesse lost her composure. As Doug
went over to offer his condolences, Jesse slugged him. Straight punch, from
lthe hip, to the bridge of his nose, sing her whole body at the instant of
impact to focus all her energy to her target. He went down as if he had been
shot. n He was out for 5 minutes.
Cliff never knew. He had
complete, innocent faith in her. She knew he wouldn't have been able to
understand and it would have hurt him a lot. She kept her guilt to herself,
knowing it was a secret that would die with her.
"Want some time
off?" asked Hendricks, after her insane assault.
"Yeh. Thanks. I've got
some things left to do," answered Jesse. The world was becoming a little
more real to her now.
"A month? You've got
quite a abit of annuyal leave. If that isn't enough I can authorize sick leave
too."
"Thanks Hendricks. I
don't know. Can I let you Know?"
"Susre. Justy don't take
too long. We want you back as soon as you can do it."
"That's just like
him," thought Jesse. "He's real generous at first and then
immediately gets stingy as soon as the work load dawns on him." Well she
would use the time off to be sure Cliff's killer was convicted. It was the only
wayt she could partially make up her lapse in not being with him when he needed
her.
She finally went home where
an unbearable longing tugged at her, Everything reminded her of Cliff, that
perfect, valiant, not-too-bad-of-a-poet, and great ski racer, husband. The
usual, warm comfortable log walls were dark and opressive, bringing back her
longing for Cliffr It wasn't a home anymore‘. The walls were just logs piled on
top of one another.. The windows were jsut glass covered with rediculous green
plaid curtains. kThe couch,’ she laboriously made with Cliff's advice, was just
chainsaw-cut pine and huge pillows.
Nothing seemed to belong to
her“ It was all nothing without Cliff. The Bag Hendricks gave her was
carelessly tossed on the kitchen table. It was as if Cliff would come home,
discover the bag, and tease Jesse for thinkng he was gone. She walked over and
timidly opened the plain paper bag. The clover leaf was still in its place in
Cliff's wallet, against her picture. There were the usual bank cards,
ready-teller card, driver's license, social security card, and pictures of his
family. There were four beat up, crinkled dollar bills. They looked like they
had‘ been there since he bought the wallet. She looked at his picture on his license.
He didn't look bad in the mug-shot. His dark hair was a bit mussed, but his
square face and straight nose were jsut as
boyishly appealing as always.
She couldn't remember what he looked like on the coroner's table. It was jsut
as well. She prefered to remember him as he was on his driver's license.
kTheI'e was his comb with the bent teeth, fingernail clippers, car and house
keeys . . . , and his wedding band. It was nothing special, just a plain gold
band about 1/4 inch wide. She tried it on the ring finger of her left hand. It
was jsut a bit too big. She rummaged through her sewing found some thin, black
satin ribbon. She wound it round the ring and slipped it back next to her
wedding ring It fit.Jesse fancied she could speak to his spirit with the ring
on. "Silly. I must be going nuts," she thought out loud. Then she
cried .. . the rest of the day and periodically through the night. After five
days of wet pillows and red, swollen eyes, Jesse was able to face the world
again.
She started by going back to
where Cliff was shot. She ran everything back
I through again. hag been
facing away from her when she saw his“ headwjerk
tree was hazy in her memory.
She walked over to where Cliff had stood. She couldn't remember which tree the
person had leaped out of. It had to be in
front of where Cliff was
standing sinsce he was shot from She walked to some live oaks in from of her.
Somethlng wasn't flttlng. She
couldn't figure out what was
wrong. An image of the sniper kekpt leaping out of a tree behind Clliff. No
that couldn't be right. She searched for anything that would place the sniper
in front of Cliff.
There it was! A button, a
brass one with a jackle leaping, and laughing. It was the kind found on
designer jeans. Jesse couldn't remember which
designer jean it was. She
searched some more. There were deep boot marks at the base of the tree, too-
They left a distinct punched out X pattern as if they were brand new. She left
the evidence as it lay, took piutres, holding the flash close to the ground
near the boot marks to when it went off, the marks would cast shadows and show
up more distinctly in the photograph. She then sketched the scene showing the
relation of the evidence to the trees and where Cliff laid.‘ kShe got a bag of
plaster of paris fron the subaru, varethane, alluminum foil and a jug of water.
The day was turning hot and
dry. The sun was shooting sharply through the oak branches with their budding
leaves. Shadows were very distinct.‘ The ground was dry. It would absorb some
of the plaster of paris if she didn't spray it with a selant first. All she had
varethane but it would do. She sprayed the boot prints with several layers of
sealant, waiting for each layer to dryt before applying the next. The sun was
pressing down on the prints and making her Very uncomfortable. Sweat was
stinging her eyes, as the prints emerged from the shadows. The oaks behind her
were throwing shade so Jesse walked over to them to wait for her last sealant
layer to dry. kShe picked an old knarled oak with a wide, inviting orevace
between its roots. She stopped, puzzled. In the orevaoe were two deep tennis
shoe marks, not as deep as the ones she had photographed, but definately deep.
Someone had obviously jumped from that tree, behind Cliff. She looked up the
tree and saw where bark had been scraped recently. Jesse made plaster casts of
both sets of prints, carefully labled them, put all her e_v_id‘ence in a metal
fishing tackle box and lacked it. The image of someone leaping out tree behind
Cliff kept 1 creeping into her thoughts. 1 w 1
Much as she wanted the man
they cought convicted, she knew something was amiss. She had to talk to him.
see his shoes, pants. look into his face.
She stiffened suddnely as a
thought struck her. Jesus! Tampering with evidence. That‘ s what she had been
"My God . I could go to jail, " thought Jesse.
The logical thing for her to
do was turn it over to the Sheriff’ s department and let things go. No . she
had to be sure this man was convicted. There were some loose ends she had to
splice together. Then she would take an air-tight case to the District
Attorney.
At home, she put the evidence
in the floor ssafe, after writing the date and time and her initials on the
chain of evidence lables she had.
Clink! , something moved in
the kitchen.
Jesse almost screamed but her
throat She leaped to the kitchen and put her
Clink! again and then water
ran. constricted and her stomach dropped. knuckle in . . . her mother‘ s head!
"Ooops. Sorry Mom. I
didn' t expect anyone. " "Jesse! I wish you would calm down just a bit.
Ever since you took karate you've jumped people. It gets on the nerves you
know."
"Sorry. Thanks for doing
the dishes." -
"Of course, Dear I
thought you might want some help with things. Jesse wasn't sure why, but she
was getting very irritated with her mother. Jesse had the feeling her mother
had something planned that Jesse wouldn't like.
"You know you have to
dispose of Cliff's things. The sooner the better. Believe me. I know. Her mom
kept talking, afraid of what Jesse would say.
"I've been through
several deaths in my family. It's the best way."
"Please; Mom. I can do
that myselfI"~
"You do have a tendency
to put things off Dear. This can't be put off. It will pe easier if I d i
." ,, I
J1eTgse'g
rfilogndfigggthjeggofiaggg gfigwivalked into Cliff and Jessi's bedroom. It i
had been sanctuary when Cliff was around. Mom knew she didn't dare invade the
bedroom like she always did the rest of the house. How that Cliff was gone,
that was no longer forbidden to her.
Jesse stifled her anger when
she saw boxes lined up on one wall. All of Cliff‘ s clothes, trophies, ski
boots, glasses and the adolescent items we all won't let go of were there.
Without speaking, Jesse tore
through the boxes throwing out items and messing up the clothes her mother so
neatly folded.
"Jesse! There's no call
for this tantrum. Calm yourself!"
"O.K. Now you can do
what you want with the boxes. Don't touch anything
else! Jesus, Mom. Don't you
care how I feel at all? Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to pout in
-private a II
Mom left with hurt and
suprize in her face. Jesse heard her mother's soft rustlings, her slow
deliberate footsteps and the front door being opened than slowly but decisively
shut. A car door opened and closed and the purr of it'smotor faded quickly.
Jesse grabbed Cliff's ski
boots and sat, hugging them, on the bed. k The tears wouldn't come, much as she
wanted them to.‘ kShe stayed that way until she slumped in exhaustion and slept
until morning.
Her pouting hadn't been
wasted. She had a plan. A simple one. She chose
her clothes carefully.
klTough-Earth-Mother was what she was after. 1: The sniper‘ s woman would be a
Tough-Earth-Mother type. NO up’ and her heir had
to iay in a
one-brushing-a-dag} untouched way‘. -Perfect, All she had to do was run a brush
through 1t and not take a shower thls mornlng. She only hoped he
had a woman. Jesse looked in
the mirror. Her blonde hair was just a tad mousy from no washing and spending
the last few days inside. Her drab green eyes were a bit glassy from trying to
cry. She looked younger, unsophisticated, with no makeup at all. Her straight
viking-helmlet nose made her face look a little longer than it really was. Yep,
Earth-I\/Iamma all right.
He's probably still at the
county tank," thought Jesse. "Knowing how things work around
here."
She put on her baggy, faded
levis and her garden-granny-dirt--flower patterned blouse. Her mother had given
her the blouse when Jesse moved to the mountains, mom thought it went with the
new lifestyle. Jess had only worn it to work in the garden or on the house. It
looked well broken in.
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